Rachel’s Weblog

August 8, 2008

More Learning…

Filed under: Uncategorized — by rlaughlin @ 3:34 am

I’m frustrated.  I clench my teeth and growl at Margie.  I’m trying hard to control my actions because I am so angry.  I have a headache and my muscles feel like jelly.  Peace is not in my vocabulary.  There’s something wrong with me.

I know a temporary fix but that is not an option.  Stop and evaluate.  I haven’t done my mediation since Saturday.  I haven’t taken time for me.  This whole week I have done for others and nothing for myself.

For tonight I’m going to finish what I started, put Margie to bed, turn off the tv, computer and some lights and then I’m going to meditate and ask God for help.  I hope that will help with these feelings because my jaws are starting to hurt from the clenching.  And my heart feels like it’s fluttering in my chest.

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August 5, 2008

Football is here

Filed under: Uncategorized — by rlaughlin @ 1:09 am

The anticipation is high.  There’s a fever in the atmosphere.  My son is ready for football practice an hour early, there is something amiss in the world.  Today is the first day of football “practice”.  I’m starting to look forward to the first game.

Life is about to be thrown off kilter.  The balance and structure that I’ve tried to create these past 60 some days is about to be blown to splinters.  This is going to be a true test to my recovery.  The only thing to do is take it one day at a time.

On the bright side…I have something to take pictures of…ohhhh, goody!

August 2, 2008

De-clutter…

Filed under: Uncategorized — by rlaughlin @ 4:33 pm

The word baffles me, it really does.  How does one de-clutter?  I know the answer but looking at a few websites with de-clutter instruction has helped.  I think it’s easy to do.  I had a friend who needed a whole house make over so another friend and I did it for her.  I threw stuff out like a bandit.  A year later she was still making comments about having a certain item once upon a time.  That was an extreme case and now I think I’ve reached the point that I need to let go of clutter.

De-Clutter item of the day…Clothes

So far I have 5 bags of clothes for the Goodwill and one for a kid who can wear Noah’s old stuff.  The scary thing is that I’m still over run with clothes.  How does this happen?  Am I more comfortable with a ton of clothes in my house?  Being the youngest of 6 kids, I have memories of laundry on Saturday mornings.  The chore consisted of my Mother standing between the washer and dry with a basket and she would throw clothes into piles. The piles were so big that I would climb on them, of course I would be corrected and told to go get more dirty clothes for her to sort.  I don’t remember if I did that but I remember those huge piles of dirty laundry in the basement.

Maybe that’s what makes me comfortable with all the clothes.  Who knows?!?

I know this…my Mother was doing laundry for 9 people.  There are only 3 in this house and I have piles of clothes that remind me of my childhood.  Time to make a change!  So today is clothes de-clutter day.

Here’s a goal for the day…(they say to start with easy ones)…if I pick up an article of clothing and think I should keep it for a possible Halloween costume…It NEEDS to be thrown out!

July 25, 2008

New lessons

Filed under: Uncategorized — by rlaughlin @ 4:53 am

I started thinking today about things that I had no control over and I began to feel overwhelmed.  I quickly put the thoughts and feelings into check with the serenity prayer… accept things I cannot change… and I am amazed at the power of prayer and meditation!

I thought about a verse in Romans, “Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind”.  I used to believe that I could think whatever I wanted, as long as I didn’t say it.  But I think that even though I didn’t say what I was thinking, it came through in my attitude and my actions.  Today I didn’t let my mind dwell on negative thoughts.  Of course they popped into my thoughts but I didn’t give them the time of day, I just moved on to other things…and it worked!

The mind is such a powerful thing and it can be used for God’s will when I focus NOT on my actions and words but first focus on my thoughts. 

I think I learned an important lesson today!

July 24, 2008

Purty Pictures

Filed under: Uncategorized — by rlaughlin @ 5:15 am

 

July 23, 2008

Feeding the Geese

Filed under: Uncategorized — by rlaughlin @ 2:42 pm

Over the weekend Margie asked if we could feed the geese at TJ Evans Park.  I grabbed my camera and some old bread and we headed off to the park.

We got there and there were 3 ducks beside a park bench, what a perfect afternoon!  What great fun!  Noah and Margie took turns trying to get the ducks to take bread from their hand. 

That lasted about 3 minutes.

 

 

 

I like to call these guys the Brooklyn Gang.  They were pushy and loud.  Their arrival marked the beginning of the end, apocolyptic end, indeed!

 

 

 

 

The rest of the gang arrived.

“Ah, we heard you had bread…”

 

 

 

 

Margie and Noah moved to the safety of the bench.  Margie was still okay with it all until the leader of the Brooklyn gang tried to get her attention from behind.  Margie stood up on the bench, stepped on the bread and lost her footing and fell down on the concrete in amongst the geese.  The scream heard round the world. 

 

Once I made sure she was okay the comedy of it all set in.  It is so difficult not to laugh when your child is screaming in pain and fear!

 

 

 

 

 

And Noah made it even harder!

 

 

 

 

 

I don’t think Margie will be asking to feed the geese again anytime soon…

The leader of the Brooklyn gang tried to aplogize but she wasn’t listening!

 

 

We ended the day on a good note… Margie found the swings and Noah caught a fish…

July 16, 2008

Humility

Filed under: Uncategorized — by rlaughlin @ 6:05 am

I used to think humility was something you strived for a character trait that you achieved by “acting” humble.  My meditation time for the last week has been about humility and I’ve learned a lot by meditating on the passage and then applying it throughout the day.

I don’t think humility is a trait I strive to achieve.  I think humility is a something that happens when I humble myself before God and set my will aside, praying that He will show me His will today.  It is achieved by doing the next right thing throughout the day.  Helping others when the opprotunity arises.  Choosing to stay silent when I want to correct someone who is wrong (as if I know all that anyway)  And in everything I do remember that it’s not my will but His.

The past 7 days have really changed the way I think about things.  It’s amazing how easy life becomes when I let go and let God.

July 14, 2008

Happy 13th

Filed under: Uncategorized — by rlaughlin @ 5:16 am

It’s official.  I am the mother of a teenager.  I’m looking forward to the years ahead but will always miss the younger years…

This is Noah’s 3rd birthday and his cousin’s 5th.  They were both born on July 13th. Isn’t he adorable!  And look at her little pig tails and blue eyes.

 

 

 

 

 

Here they are today, 10 years later.  (ok, forced smile on him this year but he’s still adorable!) 

 

 

 

 

Happy 13th Birthday Noah!

I still cannot believe he’s 13.  I pray that he grows into a honest, strong, and caring man.  I know if lives humbly and does God’s will he will be happy.  I pray that I will be a good example for him.

July 12, 2008

I’m improving some skills

Filed under: Uncategorized — by rlaughlin @ 7:10 pm

Last night I learned how to play Amazing Grace on a guitar.  One string at a time but anyone listening could pick up on what song it was.  Assuming they’d heard the song before, which I think everyone has heard the song, then again, maybe not…let’s put it this way, I learned to play the song.  My index finger pad (is the the proper term???) still tingles from pressing the string so hard, I wonder how long that lasts? 

Noah wants to take guitar lessons and I might arrange them after football season.  Who knows, maybe I’ll learn with him.  I’ve always wanted to try to learn to play but never did…who knows…

Yesterday afternoon I wanted to take some pictures and decided to work on focusing.  Funny, eh?  While learning to focus on positive things in my life, my recovery and spirituality, I worked on focusing with a camera. 

I had been trying to learn how to focus on something far away or up close while keeping everything else out of focus.  I never took the time to learn but yesterday I did, and I think I did an okay job;

I couldn’t do this before b/c the camera would put everything into focus.  Taking it off auto focus I was able to put the berries into focus and the leaf in front of me out of focus.
Another challenge was to get the focus on something up close, again manual focus let me do this.  Now… is that poison ivy??? 

Meet Ricky

Filed under: Uncategorized — by rlaughlin @ 6:33 pm

I finally caught the critter who steals Bunny’s food dish.  He’s got the dish in front of him in this picture.  The funny thing was how he ate the dry food, he picked it up with his hands.  It was pretty cute, however, Bunny’s bowl will be brought in at night from now on.

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